Blue Moon Rising: Fanfic: "Kiss" by Hjmugillecuty

RATING: FRC [GF]

SUMMARY: Fred's thoughts during "Soulless".

SPOILERS: Up to and including "Soulless"

PAIRING: Wes/Fred

DISCLAIMER: These characters do not belong to me; they belong to their original creators

AUTHOR'S NOTE: They kissed! Archive permission granted as always to Whole New World and Blue Moon Rising. Enjoy.

Fred's POV:

I'm sitting watching Angelus on the monitor and I can't stop reliving that kiss, or the fight that followed it. It's not like I haven't been kissed before. I definitely have. By several guys in high school and college, by Charles of course, and once before by Wesley. But this was different from all those previous kisses. This time, Wesley wasn't infected with the blood of a vicious demon, chasing me through the hotel with an axe, and I wasn't desperate to escape. Instead, it was a kiss full of want, desire and love, more passionate than any kiss I've ever had before. I felt his need for me and it felt like he was trying to devour me. The emotion in that kiss was so intense that I think I whimpered. I know one of us moaned, at that point I couldn't tell which voice, which mouth, was his and which was mine.

When I pulled away, it was only for breath. If Charles hadn't walked in at that moment, he would have caught us kissing again or possibly worse. With the heat in the office, I don't think we could have stopped with just the kissing. It's good that Charles interrupted us though, because going any further would have been wrong while Charles thinks he and I are still together. Which is not going to be for long. After the things he said to Wesley, attacking him, and then not even thinking and attacking me, this relationship cannot survive.

For five years I was property. Bought and bartered at the will of someone else, until I manage to run away. I hid in a cave just waiting for them to come and hunt me down again. But then Wesley and Angel and Cordelia and Charles came and found me and they told me I never had to feel like property again. That I belonged to me and no one else. But today Charles made me feel that way once more. And I can't be a possession. I refuse to let him see me as his prize. I love Charles, but it has been so long since I have been IN LOVE with him that I can barely remember it.

But I'm IN LOVE with Wesley. And I'm sitting here trying to figure out what comes next. I have to break up with Charles but I'm not sure if right now is the best time. Angelus wants us to fall apart and we're playing right into his hands. I should wait, until Angel has his soul back. It shouldn't be long. Wesley will be back soon with the Svea. They'll banish the Beast and Wo-Pang will ensoul Angelus. Then Wesley and I won't have to sneak kisses in the office. We can be together. Finally.

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