Blue Moon Rising: Fanfic: "Maybe" by Hjmugillecuty

RATING: FRC [GF]

SUMMARY: Fred's thoughts during "Calvary".

SPOILERS: Up to and including "Calvary"

PAIRING: Wes/Fred

DISCLAIMER: These characters do not belong to me; they belong to their original creators (Mutant Enemy, the WB and others) and I make no profit.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This one is a little shorter than usual and it is for everyone on the W/F thread at Forums4Fans. Archive permission granted as always to Whole New World and Blue Moon Rising. Enjoy.

Fred's POV:

Lilah? He's been sleeping with Lilah? Had he fallen that far? I suppose I should start taking everything Angelus said at face value. Everything I had thought seemed absolutely ridiculous has turned out to be true. Cordelia had sex with Connor, the boy whose diapers we used to change. Wesley has been sleeping with Lilah for six months. And Wesley's accent makes me melt.

So if all that is true, then all the other things he said are true too. That Wesley wants me and I'm in love with him. Which raises the question; why did he choose Lilah? I understand why she would want him. There's the accent, for one. He's rugged, which makes him sexy, and after he left us, he kind of became more mysterious. But as for the other way around; what could he possibly see in Lilah? I suppose she's beautiful, but she's evil.

However, six months? That's the summer. That's after I told him to stay away from us. After Angel tried to kill him and he was cut off from all his friends…and the woman he loved. Maybe Lilah was the only person who would speak to him. But, that would only explain one time, not six months. There must have been some kind of emotion for it to continue. Hatred is an emotion. Or maybe Wesley was punishing himself by being with someone he couldn't stand. Or he was gathering information about Wolfram and Hart? That might make sense. How else did he know about Cordelia living with Connor? Or that Connor was in Wolfram and Hart when the Beast attacked? This explains how Lilah got out! Wesley must have gone in and saved her.

Because that's what he does. He saves people; he saves me. He has saved me so many times; he saved me from Angelus yesterday. Maybe I should have saved him before. Maybe then he wouldn't have turned to Lilah. Maybe he would have turned to me. Charles said I'm looking everywhere but at him. That's not true, I'm looking only at Wesley. I can't seem to help it.

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