Discussion
by Tracey

RATING: FRC [AU]

SPOILERS: Season 5 "Unleashed"..

Wesley stared at the television the volume was turned down low. It had been on for quite a while but Wesley was taking no notice of it. His mind kept going back to the conversation he had with Fred not two hours before. He was angry, at himself for showing his jealously like that, for showing it so quickly. Wesley took another mouthful of whisky. He had opened the bottle when he returned from the meeting and had finally lost count of how many glasses he had consumed. Wesley got up from the sofa and turned the television off, the room then went a deadly quiet. He walked to the window gazed out toward the night skyline of Los Angeles.

Fred parked her car outside Wesley's apartment. She sat in the car for a couple of minutes, trying to figure out what exactly to say to him. She had to admit she wasn't quite sure how she ended up at Wesley's. Their conversation of earlier in the night had been stuck inside her head and it wasn't letting go. She admitted that she was quite shocked at Wesley's accusations of Knox. He didn't even know him. Fred got out of her car and pondered for a moment, she knew that they have to have this conversation and it would be better to get it out of the way sooner rather than later, she didn't want this to get in the way of work.

Wesley turned away from the window and looked at his phone. He was thinking about calling Fred, apologising for the way he acted. He picked up the receiver and started to dial her number. He got half way through dialling the number when he looked at the time. It was just after 1am too late to call he thought, she will be asleep by now. He put the receiver down and walked over to a table, to top up his glass of whisky. Then there was a knock at the door.

Fred stood at the door to Wesley's apartment she was about to knock when she pulled her hand away. She thought about this. Should she bring this up now? What if he was asleep? She wondered if this was a good idea at all. Suddenly though she found herself knocking at his door. Fred guessed now that she was going to find out.

Wesley wondered who could be calling at this hour. He walked toward his door with his drink in his hand and then he opened it. Surprised was etched on his face, Fred was the last person he was expecting.

"Fred" Wesley said, trying to keep the surprise hidden.

"Hi Wesley" Fred replied.

Wesley motioned for Fred to come in. She smiled as she walked past him glancing ever so slightly at the glass held in his hand.

"Sorry, I know it's late, I must have woken you" Fred said quietly knowing she had not.

"No it's ok Fred, I wasn't asleep." Silence again crept into the way. Wesley noticed a slight sadness in her eyes. He hoped that he didn't cause this.

"Actually I was about to phone you, but I thought it would be too late to call" Wesley replied.

"Oh" Fred said. She smiled and Wesley returned it.

Fred knew she had to start this conversation. The question remained how she was going to start it she didn't want this to cause a rift in their friendship. She treasured their friendship too much.

"Wesley, what happened back there? why did you say those things about Knox."

Wesley just looked at Fred, his sadness slightly revealed. How he wished now that he just kept his feelings inside, that he didn't let them show, even though it was for only a few seconds.

"I sorry for the things I said back there, Fred"

"Then why say them at all Wesley!

"I don't know. I just don't trust him", said Wesley.

"Well I do, if I didn't I wouldn't let him work with me" Fred replied.

"Fred, you've only known him for a few weeks at most." Wesley began to get agitated the ice clinking against the side of his glass.

"Well I'm sorry Wes, sorry that you don't approve of my friends."

"Can you really trust him Fred?" Wesley knew he was pushing the issue he wanted to know for certain Fred's full feelings towards Knox.

They were back there again! It was turning into the same conversation that they had not a couple of hours before. Wesley just looked at Fred, not knowing what to say next, he didn't want this to be blown into a huge argument nor did he want to push for an answer that would break his heart. He was trying to mask his feelings for her, but it was getting harder by the minute. Silence entered the room. Fred and Wesley just looked at each other for a few moments. Neither wanted the argument to reveal their feelings.

"I don't want us to fall out over this Wesley" said Fred

"Neither do I Fred" Wesley replied, his eyes averting from hers.

Fred walked over to where Wesley was standing, they both looked into one another's eyes.

"Knox is a nice guy, I like him." She said quietly.

As Fred said those words, a pain shot through Wesley's heart. He didn't want to hear those words, not now not ever. He wished he could tell her, tell her how he felt but it was a luxury he could not afford when he knew it was not reciprocated. Fred took Wes's hand in hers.

"This won't harm out friendship will it?" said Fred

Wesley's heart broke into a million pieces and he made the only promise he knew he could "No, nothing will not ever!"

They both smiled, still holding onto each other's hand. Fred began to feel the heat eminating from Wesley and the smell of the scotch on his breath. Removing her hands from his she said "It's getting late, I better get back and catch up on some sleep. It's an early start for me in the morning"

"Ok" Wesley said quietly, almost a whisper "I'll see you in the office tomorrow."

Fred leaned forward and hugged Wesley, he was quite taken aback at first, but then he put his arms around her and hugged her praying that someday he wouldn't have to snatch these moments in her arms. He never felt more safe than when he was in her arms. In the arms of the woman he loved. His heart skipped a beat. The longing he so wanted had arrived, but it was taken just as quickly as Fred ended the hug.

"See you soon Wes"

"See you later Fred"

She smiled on last time and then she left. Wesley stood in the middle of his apartment, his hands in his pockets, alone. Wanting to get that feeling back again of Fred being in his arms. Hopefully that feeling would be back again.

© January 2004

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